Elephants have been known to die of broken hearts if a mate dies. They refuse to eat and will lay do

when i see you i think of my favorite song

i love waking up next to you
i love your smell
i love your eyes
i'm so glad i found you

If you could be one age for the rest of your life, which age would you choose?

If I could be one age for the rest of my life, it would be seventeen. This year, I fell in love for the first time, reconciled with my mom, was there for my cousin during her 1st year of high school, had a "revolution" about guys, and made peace with myself.

Before this last year, I wasn't sure that love existed. I was always wondering if I were going to end up alone, at 65 years old with no one to sit in my rocker with while I eat my jello and watch The Price is Right. All of the relationships within my family have been torn apart, (some put back together, eventually), and the idea of love between any of them seemed ridiculous. But I found a boy that changed my whole mind set, and even though it didn't work out, I owe him for opening my eyes.

My mom and I have had a tension between us for the past five years. The issue, I will not say, but this year I decided that I don't want to be 35 years old and wonder why I didn't just forgive her for it. So I did, and ever since we've been running around more as friends than mother and daughter, (working out together, going to the theater, talking about boys, etc.), but I like it. :)

My little cousin has always seemed more to me like my little sister/best friend. She's two and a half years younger than me, and this year, she's been going through some of the exact same experiences that I went through freshman year, and I feel so privileged to be the one she comes to. It's crazy to see her growing up, and whenever she comes to me for advice, or just to get something off of her chest, I feel like I'm making a difference. Whenever I was a freshman, I didn't have someone to go to and cry and hear that everything was alright. Yes, I had friends, but I didn't have that mentor, who had already been-there-done-that, and now I feel like I'm that person.

I also used to be the guy-chaser. I would pick a guy, and like him for as long as it took for him to like me, and then I'd move onto the next one. If I couldn't get him to like me, then I would be thinking of all the reasons why he wouldn't, and try to change myself to become more of a girl that he would like. Then in September, I had a newsflash! If I wasn't being myself, then even if the guy liked who I had become, it wasn't worth anything.

That led to me realizing the damage I do to myself everyday, and that it needed to stop. I was always tugging at my clothes, and poking at my thighs, wishing that I was more prettier. If only my hair was longer, or my stomach was a few inches smaller, I would be beautiful, and confident. I would feel good enough to be hanging out with my other gorgeous friends, or boyfriend. But I realized that the only person I have to be good enough for is myself, and I am. I deserve to be as happy as anyone else, and even though I'm not a size three, a size five is just as beautiful. No more dressing to impress, or spending hours on my hair. The only goals I have now are to be healthy(I've been running, working out at the gym, and eating better food), confident, and happy.

And the biggest lesson I've learned this year is the most simple, "Everything is going to be ok." I was used to thinking about the past and all of the mistakes that I've made and some used to make me cringe. How could I do that? What was I thinking? I was so disappointed in myself. But this year, I know that I can be the person that I've always wanted to be. I don't have to look back on the past and regret decisions I've made because they already happened, they're over and done with, and I can move on because everything is going to be ok.

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Currently The Truth About Forever By Sarah Dessen see related

I should come with a WARNING! sign.

I'm a heartbreaker. That's the truth of it. I find a guy I like, who likes me, and everything is good for a while. But then, after a while, I feel smothered. Like, I just want to run. I don't even know the reason, because almost everytime, the relationship that I feel like running away from, is with the most amazing guys, really. So many girls would love to be with some of the guys I have gotten to know, and I know that for a fact. I just can't do it. I know that I'm only seventeen, but sometimes, I feel like I'm always going to run, and eventually, I'll get old and lonely, and there will be no one to run from but myself. I'm one of the most screwed up people I know.

1) Where was the first time you ever saw the person you like, and when? At a youth outing with my old church, about four years ago.
2) What's on your bedroom floor right now? Shoes. Lots of shoes. 
3) What is currently bothering you? My crazy-ass self. I dont know what I'm doing.
4) Could you take a nap right now? Doubt it, i'm thinking too much.
5) Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? Occasionally.(:
6) What are you listening to? "Swallowed in the Sea" - Coldplay.
7) What song? See above. ^
8) Are you single? Nope...
9) Who is your bestfriend? Ohh I have a few.(:
10) How long have you been friends with him/her? Most of them, like, 9 years.
11) Are sunday mornings made for reading PostSecret? Sounds good to me.(:
12) Does age matter in the game of love? Nope, as long as it aint something gross like, 13 and 23. :P
13) Do you use chapstick like it's going out of style? What kind do you use? Mhmm. Right now I have these little soda pop bottle ones. They're so cute.(:
14) What kind of perfume do you use? I have a ton of Victorias Secret ones, Harajuku Lovers, Paris Hilton, and a couple Britney Spears. I just like to mix it up.
15) Do people underestimate you? That's for sure.
16) Do you have troubles sleeping? Definately.
17) If you have a facebook, how many friends do you have added? Barely any. I'm never on.
18) Do you have any siblings? How old? Do you get along? I have a sister, Symphony and we get along just fine. I also have two half siblings, but we've never met.):
19) Do you have a nickname? A lot;; mel, melmel, melonhead, melster, melodious, little mel, etc..
20) What is in store for your future? That's a good question. I have no idea. 
21) What's more powerful, actions or words? Actions. What's the good in saying something if you never do it?
22) Do you wear make up? What do you wear? Most of the time. Foundation & Eyeliner. I don't like taking the time to do any of the other stuff most of the time. Hahah. Half the time, you can't even get me to take the time to blow dry my hair.(:
23) Do you talk a lot? Depends on who I'm with.
24) What color is your shirt? I have on two tanks (white&gray), and a hoodie(white&blue&redish).
25) What would happen if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? That would be pretty crazy.
26) What are you doing today? Painting.
27) Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? I'm sure I could.
28) Have you ever kissed someone who was over 17? Yep.
29) When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? It's been a while. Hahah.(:
30) When were you on the phone last? And with who? Last night, with my mom. Wanting to know when I was coming home.:P

there's gotta be somebody for me out there.

     This is my new favorite song. It's by Nickelback and I love it to death. If you haven't heard it, I suggest you do. I listen to this song literally at least once a day. I can relate to it probably more than any other song that's out there right now. I just think it's beautiful. The lyrics:

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just done enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know the night alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like d©ja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end?
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know the night alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, (when looking for) a diamond did erupts? (you will never know)
The wind shows up, (make sure you're holding on)
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, oh

Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know the night alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there